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 6.25.2003
Well, it's been quite a while, hasn't it? Let me see if I can't give you a little update...
Friday, 6/20: I make a late-night trek to Madrid, Iowa, to welcome my Melissa home from Europe. The Sweet Valley vibe was in full swing, and a good time was had by all. The Tam makes a mean fruit pizza, believe it.
Saturday, 6/21: After just two hours of sleep, I get super-pimp, Mel bronzes my boobs, and I drive to waaaaaay rural Toledo, Iowa, to pick Jason up for Chris's wedding. And without further ado...
THE SUMMER WHEN EVERYONE I KNOW GETS MARRIED, EPISODE #2: "Megan Victoria Scheetz comically takes Christopher Craig Wilson to be her lawfully-wedded husband who can't stop drinking at the reception."
During the ceremony, Chris and Megan were laughing like 85% of the time. I'm not sure if they were giddy about being together forever, if they thought that their vocalist was not all they'd hoped for, or (more likely) if Chris farted as they were exchanging their vows and they just thought that was hilarious! So, the ceremony: good.
The 2.5 hour lull between the wedding and the reception: bad.
The reception was realllllly fun, though, and that totally made up for it. A yummy dinner when it finally took place, a not-as-funny-as-he-thought-it-would-be-but-still-better-than-the-ultra-sappy-maid-of-honor-speech best man speech from Troy "The Toolbox" Stites himself, a slide show that had me laughing AND crying because Chris is just...well, Chris, lots of super fun antics from the Boatsma Boys, and three kegs of MGD. Needless to say, I got smashed. I danced with my uber-gay buds Glen and Brad, met Andy Ratzlaff's sister, who turned out to be every bit as cool as him, and kissed the groom on the lips at his behest. And one final note: Goddamn, Chris's mom is hot! I think I even heard one of the guys call her a MILF! Congrats to Megan for being the first chick to land one of My Boys til death do they part. He's quite a catch, girl. Take good care of him for me.
Sunday 6/22: Got up at 5:15 AM to drive back through the early-morning monotony of Central Iowa. Sped the entire way so that I could get back in time to work at the Wal. Damn you, Assistant Manager Tabby; why couldn't you just be less of a bitch and give me the damn day off? Anyways, got to work, worked, had horrible stomach pain, worked, pain got worse, thought I was just really hungry and/or hungover and polished off an entire Party Pizza on my lunch break, worked some more, pain had me doubled over my register, started crying at work because of said wretched pain, left work half an hour early to come home to EVERY member of my immediate family AND my grandparents eating dinner at my house, went to emergency room, drank gross Kool-Aid-type-nasty-shit that dyed my insides a shade of "Bodacious Blue Raspberry," had an emergency laparoscopic appendectomy, yada yada yada.
Monday 6/23: Woke up with more pain that I'd had when my appendix was still IN my body. Came home from hospital on Percocet.
Every moment since then: I've been busy doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I sleep, I religiously follow my clear liquid diet, I watch TV, and that's about it. Oh, and I sleep, too. But I have at least this week off of work, so that's pretty bonus, I guess. Today is kinda fun cuz my dad had oral surgery this morning, and so now we are both on painkillers and trying to take care of each other while my mom's at work. Could be quite a spectacle.
Ok, but I leave you with a True Confession of a Karen on Vicodin: I was watching Celine Dion's Las Vegas Showcase today on VH1 (get off me, alright? I'm on drugs here, people!), and her rendition of Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" had me in tears. Just had to get that off my chest. I guess it's back to the couch for me...
11:52 AM
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