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 6.01.2003
I'm back from Austria, y'all. It was a great time, filled with good food, good friends, and even more fucking kamikaze birds than we have here in the Netherlands. Since it was my first visit to the land of Mozart (and nearly every other important Classical musician in the history of time), it's time to share some impressions:
*Austrian sausage products are pretty damn tasty. Not quite as good as the zesty ones I had at Oktoberfest in Munchen, but very enjoyable nonetheless.
*Vienna is a BIG city. I spent a ton of time on trains and trams, smelling the urine/vomit/bad B.O. aroma of public transportation, and then yesterday we did the actual sightsee-y stuff. And that stuff was VERY pretty. And all very BIG. Conclusion: Austrians like big stuff. (The women there are VERY busty, too, by the way.)
*I'll say it again: There are mullets EVERYWHERE on this earth. Vienna seemed to specialize in the Warrant-sans-Aquanet variety...tres chic. If the smoking midget I saw yesterday had had that 'do, I could die laughing right now.
*Children on rollerblades should die. One of them whipped past me at the speed of light, but managed to check me hockey-style in the process. Ouch.
*TGIFridays does a lot better job internationally than Applebees. Their menu actually has a lot of the same items as they have in the U.S. (whereas Applebees' was disappointingly dissimilar). Thanks, guys...you don't even KNOW how much I needed that spinach & artichoke dip and the Ultimate Lynchburg Lemonade.
*It's butt-hot in Austria. I rediscovered that I am a sweater through and through.
*An essential part of every Transylvanian gypsy street-band is a grandpa-type guy that just yells the words to the song over all of the other performers. Other musts include an orange-haired way-too-fat-to-wear-that-dress woman that dances badly and her tone-deaf and EXTREMELY obese older brother. But man, could those guys play a mean accordian solo. I was moved to tears, but I'm not quite sure whether that's good or bad.
*The best adjective in the German language is one that describes EVERYTHING Viennese...It's WIENER, people!!! My personal fave was the Wiener Bus. Hee hee.
*The Schonbrunn Palace is home to the ugliest squirrels I have EVER seen. Like uber ugly. (It seems appropriate to use uber when talking about German-speaking squirrels, right?) Don't worry, Jason, I took a picture for ya. :)
*Austrians have conquered the apple. I had the absolute best glass of apple juice in my life on Wednesday morning. I never wanted it to end. If, by the grace of God (or whatever), I actually go to Heaven, I want THAT apple juice administered to me intravenously for all of eternity. Damn it was good.
*There's a girl on Mel's program that has Tourette's. During her little episodes, she often asks random people the following question: Who do you think would be on top...Captain Kirk or Mr. Spock? HILARIOUS.
*The Alps are really amazing to see from the top of a castle in Salzburg. If I was more of a bad-ass traveller, I'd consider trying to climb one of them someday. But back in the land I like to call "reality," I got winded climbing the two flights of stairs up to Mel's dorm room. Sad sad sad.
*Last night, while waiting for the train, a bug flew up my nose. 'Nuff said.
It seems quite probable that this will be my last post written from Leiden's finest Moroccan-owned internetting establishment. I'm sure there will be more to reflect on when I get back the the States (after the LOOOOOONG plane ride, that is), but until then, I hope you've enjoyed my European vacation as much as I have, and tot ziens te alles.
This is me, signing off from the Nederland.
5:12 AM
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