3.26.2003

 

The two sure-fire signs of spring:

1. When the sun comes out and it's just a shade above 55 degrees, men feel compelled to take off their shirts and drive around in their trucks with all the windows open and the twang-y little ditties of Billy Joe WhoTheFuckCares blaring from the radio. Occasionally this is a very good thing (I can appreciate a sexy cowboy just as much as the next chick), but most of the time, it makes my eyeballs burn. Especially when there are manboobs, camouflage baseball caps, and patchy back hair involved. Blech.

2. When it's warm enough to prop doors open and crack windows with hole-y screens, allllllll of the arthropods that normally live outside migrate indoors. This is really fun for me. I can't even describe the enjoyment I get out watching a bug fly around a classroom. The distraction/sheer terror that ensues in every student is just delightful. I bet teachers hate insects.

On a related note, I felt like a little kid today when my Evolution prof did the you-guys-aren't-listening-to-me-so-i'll-just-stop-talking-and-roll-my-eyes-and-wait-for-everyone-to-shut-up-and-give-me-their-'undivided-attention' thing at the beginning of our lab. Maybe she was just crabby, but I feel like that is such an immature reaction to have while preaching about your students being 'mature enough' to sit still during the most boring 'Capstone' class since Norma "The Chameleon" Fuller's 6th Grade Literature. She went on to say that we were disrespecting her by not listening and all that bullshit. What I wouldn't have given for a large winged beetle to zoom in right at that moment and start buzzing loudly as it meandered aimlessly around the room...Of course, we wouldn't have been able to help ourselves. We totally would have craned our necks every which way to follow that damn bug. Maybe our prof would've burst into tears, or even better, in true high-school-teacher fashion, perhaps she would have stomped her foot or turned the lights on & off a few times. Oh, if only dreams came true...

And a terrifyingly girly moment: Abbey and I were talking about me shopping for some new jeans, because ever since I lost 0.00453592 metric tons (never fear, there's plenty left to love, and yes, that is the actual figure...nerds like me read English/metric conversion tables in our free time), I haven't been able to avoid the 'saggy-butt' look that my roommate loves to loathe. I even have one pair that I can remove without unbuttoning them. EEEE!!! (that was an elated squeal, by the way) Okay, but the point is, we were talking about shopping for new jeans, and I was saying that I'd hate to buy a smaller size, cuz then there'd be so much pressure to not get any fatter. But then Abbey (a VERY cute...and single...little thing) said, "No, Karen, that should just motivate you to stay where you're at now." Do you see the distinction here? It's a subtle, but striking nuance, I think.

I must have too much estrogen today...I'm a rollercoaster with a negative body image. But I guess things could be worse: I could have a Chevy Silverado and some patchy back hair, right?

8:02 PM

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